Is She Cheating or About to Dump You?

By Adam Stone

People are sort of like monkeys when it comes to dating and relationships.  This sounds really offensive, I know, but hear me out.  When a monkey is in its natural habitat, traveling from tree to tree in the jungle, it won’t let go of one branch, until it has its hand firmly planted on the next branch.  A monkey needs to know where it’s going, after all.  Well, the same holds true for people and relationships.

With a lot of women, when it comes to dating, she won’t let go of one branch (you) until she has her eyes set on the next branch (the next poor shlub).  It’s a safer mode of transport, and she’ll know where she’s heading.

Fortunately, there are some tell-tell signs to help you realize you’re a useless “twig” about to be left behind for a more stable “branch” Consider this:

1. She turns the faucet off of sex

   If you’ve gone from regular and consistent sex to none at all, she may be getting it from someone else.  We’re only human, and as human animals it’s difficult to turn off and on our animalistic needs.  If she’s turned them off for you, they might be on for someone else.

2. She starts doing things without you

   If your girl stops including you in activities with her friends, she may be transitioning from a life with you to one without you.  She may have already told her friends that things are over between the two of you, and is easing in to that lifestyle on her own terms.  If your girl was really in to you, she’d want to include you with her friends.

3. She answers text/phone calls in front of you without telling you who its from.

   Not saying anything at all is easier than lying.  When given a choice to remain silent or to offer up a lie regarding who she’s communicating with – silence is always the path of least resistance.

4. She sleeps over at friend’s house (a lot)

   If your girl is past the age of slumber parties but still insists that she’s sleeping over at a friend’s house when she goes out, chances are that friend is the kind of friend that does a little more than offer all-night gossip sessions.

5. She communicates with you less

   Women love to talk, and if she’s stopped talking to you, she’s talking to someone else.

6. She comes home late smelling like a fraternity keg party

   If she’s going out without you, gets home late, and smells like a brewery, she may be drinking to lower her inhibitions to have a good time (without you).

7. She gets dolled up to go get coffee with friends

   If your girl puts way more effort than necessary when she say’s she is going to go meet up with her girlfriends for things like coffee or brunch, it’s possible that she’s getting dolled up to meet Sven, her Swedish yoga partner for more than a cafe latte.

8. She is evasive about where she was, what she was doing

   Refer back to #5, and remember, women love to talk to their men when a relationship is going well.  If she’s been out, and doesn’t volunteer to tell you all about her wonderful (or crappy) time out with her friends, and isn’t forthcoming with what she’s been doing, then she might have something to hide.

9. Your gut instincts tell you something is up

   If your gut instincts are telling you that your girl is cheating or she’s about to leave you, chances are that there are troubles in paradise.  Our minds may keep us in a state of denial, but our gut instincts are hard to ignore.  If you feel that something bad is going down, don’t ignore it.  Even if there’s nothing happening yet, these kinds of feelings are indicative that your relationship needs help or is about to tank… for whatever reason.

10. You find King Kong condoms in her purse, when your brand is Junior Pee Wee

    If this happens to you – run and never look back.

Want to get up on the saddle again?

Put yourself back on the market, and find a new lady-friend. Try these DudeRated.com-Approved websites to find your next lady:

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Cheap Dating is the In-Thing.

The past year has been filled with disasterous news about the economy, appalling job loss figures, and a grim outlook for the future global economic condition. 

Yet despite all the doom and gloom, reports indicate that people are not dating less because of the recession. In fact, online dating websites such Match.com, are reporting tremendous growth during the hard times.  There’s nothing quite like a bleak outlook to ignite those romantic feelings, is there?

Good economy or bad, human beings will seek companionship and romance, and when times are tough, the pricey courtships have become passé.

She’s looking money but your wallet is looking empty – where do you take your lady on a low or no budget? Sometimes the best dates are the inexpensive ones…

With empty pockets and depleted bank accounts in mind, we’ve compiled a list of five (5) dirt-cheap and sometimes free dating ideas:

5. Coffee Shop

Taking a date to a coffee shop is a great way to save some bucks and get to know each other.  The coffee shop date offers an opportunity to get a sense of the chemistry between the two of you.  If there is chemistry, it’s an easy way to transition into having dinner, drinks, or some other activity.  And if there is no chemistry, it’s a convenient forum to quickly wrap things up and bounce.  Try not to choose crowded and busy coffee chains, or you’ll spend much of the time waiting in line and listening to other people yap on their cell phones.  Cozy mom & pop shops are best.

4. Art Gallery

Checking out a local art gallery is a great way to make a first impression, or even show a lady you’ve been seeing for awhile your cultured side.  You don’t have to be an expert on art to be able to comment on the various pieces of art.  Visiting a gallery is also great for making conversation if this is a first date – you’ll have things to focus on and talk about.  Use google maps (maps.google.com) to find art galleries in your area.

3. Bike Ride

Riding bicycles together is a great way to explore new areas, and combines leisurely physical activity with a chance to talk and get to know your date.  It’s free, physical, healthy and fun.  Better yet, riding a bicycle rather than driving a car helps save the environment.

2. Cheesy Movie Night

Hit the bargain bins together for discount DVDs at Walmart, Target, Blockbuster Video, etc. and you’re sure to find your next cheesefest.  Make it a game to find the silliest, lamest, cheesiest movies, for as little mula as possible.  Pop up some popcorn, dim the lights, and have a great time laughing at or along with a couple of cheesy flicks.   

1. Local Band

Depending on the size of your city, there could be a few to dozens, or even hundreds (in the case of NYC), small bars and venues hosting local band performances and open mic nights.  Often admission to these shows is free, and your only expense will be drinks if you and your date care to imbibe.  This will be a great opportunity to enjoy local talent, or if the performance is bad, to laugh it off with your date.

BONUS:

Visit your Local Brewery

With over 1700 local craft beer microbreweries in the United States alone, you’re certain to find a regional beer brewery to tour with your gal pal.  Beer tours can be educational, interesting and fun.  Best of all, many brewery tours are FREE.  Added bonues – you’ll get to sample the brewery’s sweet nectar from the heavens at the end of the tour.  Check out this site for finding a brewery in your town: Find a Brewery at BeerTown.com

 Inexpensive Dating is…

Slow Your Roll, Dude…

Written by Adam Stone

OK tiger, you scored a babe’s phone number.  Now what?! Ask any of your female pals how long you should wait before calling a woman that you’re interested in for a first date, and I guarantee that the response you get will go something like this:

"Call her the next day…"
"Don’t play games, girls hate games…"
"Just follow your heart…"

All of the responses above are absolute rubbish.  Hog wash.  Poppycock.  There is a reason we get these types of silly responses from females, and it is not because women necessarily hate games – it’s because they don’t like being on the other end of the game play.  Woman love to have the upper hand.

So, How Long Should You Wait Before Calling Her?

Let’s just cut to the chase and get to the meat of this discussion.  I’ve been around the block once or twice, and in my experience I’ve found that the real issue is not necessarily the number of days to wait before calling, but rather what it takes to not come off as too eager.  Over-eagerness is the culprit that will stop you in your tracks.

Generally speaking, however, the two-day rule is a good rule of thumb for maintaining the desired position that you don’t wreak of desperation.  (Even though you and I both know you stink of it – I can smell you from here!) The two day rule is ONLY a General Rule of Thumb, because quite frankly, the time that you wait before calling a woman for a first rendezvous depends on the circumstances.  Let’s break this down in to some hypothetical situations:

1. If you’re out drinking and having a good time with the boys, and an attractive babe slips you her number with a note that reads, "I want to tie you up and do naughty things to you – tonight, call me" – you do NOT have to wait two days before calling.  In fact, in this situation, I would recommend calling her right away.
    
2. If you’ve just met a gal and exchanged numbers, and she sends you a text message that night asking you what you are up – you do NOT have to wait two days before calling.  Again, in this situation, I would recommend calling her right away, while her interest is still piqued.
    
3. If you’ve connected with a woman on a dating website, such as Match.com, and you’ve already been communicating through email or IM, then the Two-Day Rule is not relevant.  Go ahead and call her to set up a date.
    
4. If you’ve met the woman of your dreams, it’s a Thursday night, and you’ve agreed that you’ll call her sometime to hang out – do NOT call her in two days to ask for a date.  What!? Why the hell not?!  Well, because in this particular situation, waiting two days would place your call to her on a Saturday.  Calling a girl you’ve just met on a Saturday isn’t the best idea for two reasons: (a) it shows lack of consideration on your part that she may already have plans for the weekend, and (b) it illustrates to her that you DON’T have plans.  A woman will find you more attractive if she assumes you’ve got something better to do than hound her for a date.  Since weekends are off limits for a call in this situation, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday don’t count toward the "two-day rule," and you’re best off if you call her on Tuesday.
    

Whew, pretty complicated, huh?  Not so much.  The key takeaway from this stuff is that you cannot come off as too eager, or you risk losing any chance you’ve got with the girl.  Women like to be pursued, but they’re much more receptive when you’re calm, cool, and confident about it.  Generally speaking, if you wait a couple of days you’ll have nothing to worry about.  And granted, if you call too soon, you may not jeopardize your chances with a particular woman, but why risk it?  It’s just not worth it.  The Two-Day Rule exists for a reason… it’s a solid rule of thumb.