How close are you to the end?

So you’ve decided to slow your roll, and go through the motions of monogamy for a change.  When you’ve found yourself no longer grabbing at anything that moves, and working on keeping your urges focused to one female, you’ve entered the Relationship Zone.  Stick around in one long enough, and you’ll get to know all about the Relationship Stages and what comes along with them. Please note, the cost of these stages goes up incrementally as you become less and less single.

Stage 1: Casual but Fun

You’ve meet through friends or at the bar or on an online dating site and BINGO, you’ve lucked out and have chemistry.  When you see each other, the thought of engaging in physical acts that are still outlawed in some States is on both of your minds.  The good times keep rolling in, and it’s completely innocent. Almost.

What it means to your wallet: $

• Definitely buy her drinks when you go out.
• The occasional shot (because let’s face it, you’re still not sure if you’ll score)
• Dinner, movies, and other casual entertainment
• Cab ride home (at night or the next morning)

Stage 2: Weekend buddies

Well, well… you’ve started spending a little more time with your new buddy.  No problem – you’re getting used to each other, and still having a great time.  What’s more, no longer is either one of you doing the walk of shame. It’s turned into breakfast and maybe a morning walk with the dog. Still . . . it’s innocent. That’s if you’re not a hardcore practicing Catholic.

What it means to your wallet: $$

• Since she’s now your “date” when you go out, expect to cover the bar tab.
• You’ll going to have an overnight “guest” and that means morning coffee.
• Stock up on food, or you’ll be going out for breakfast.
• If you’re gettin’ some, she won’t be ordering the cheapest thing from the dinner menu.

Stage 3: Meet the Friends and Hang

Yep, it’s now pretty much official. You’re dating. And part of that title encompasses the test of meeting friends. You want to keep this girl around for a while, and she is definitely sizing you up as a long-term prospect by this point.  Your friends will likely approve of anyone with a pulse as long as you’ve got a grin on your face.  Her friends are a little more selective, though.  Got a job? Check.  Got your own place? Check.  Decent hygiene? (this one is crucial!) Check.  If you’re making her happy, her friends will know – and you can expect to be kept around for awhile.

What it means to your wallet: $$$

• Drinks – Now that she’s got you, you’ll notice that those pints of Miller and shots of Jaeger she was content drinking are now being phased out for fancier wines and top-shelf mixed drinks.
• Still paying for Dinner?  You betcha – but now it includes breakfast and lunch, because you’ll be spending entire days together.
• Ever been to a Broadway Musical? (suck it up buddy, you’re in for it now!)

Stage 4: The next step - GAS

The expectation of the weekends are pre-planned with each other. Comfort levels are now at an all time high and . . . wind has been broken around her.

What it means to your wallet: $$$$

• See above, plus:
• Flowers (for breaking wind)
• Weekend getaways 

NOTE:  It should be noted that the Gas Stage is really the point of no return.  Once you’ve passed gas in each other’s presence, you’ve reached a comfort level that will be difficult to undo. 

Stage 6: Meet the folks/Moving in

This is it, the last step before the knot is tied . . . or the chain is secured to your ankle.  From here on out, you’ve lost the “I” and it’s now “we”.

What it means to your wallet: $$$$$

• See above, plus:
• Surprise romantic get-aways
• Puppy or kitten (for the pet lover)

Phase 6: … The end (Marriage)

Saturdays at Home Depot, Bed Bath and Beyond or Costco.  Stick a fork it it, you’re done, pal.

What it means to your wallet: $$$$$$

• See above, plus:
• Mortgage payments
• Kids

Have traditional gender roles really changed?

Most folks would agree that changing gender roles have dramatically altered their lives at work and at home. Few people would argue that gender equality, especially in the workplace, has enriched the lives of men and women alike.

Men and women have been striving for equality during the past few decades, and it is evident that political, professional, economic, and social advances have been made.

But when it comes to "Romantic Equality," how much has really changed?  Do men and women naturally gravitate toward more traditional romantic roles?   Women want to be treated as equals in all areas of life, but  do they prefer being treated as a traditional lady when it comes to dating?

 
When is it OK for a man to hang up his super-hero cape, and let the woman save the day… or at least pay for the date?

Share your thoughts.  Should a man always pay for his date?  Many women may offer to pay, but do they really want to, or is it simply going through the motions of what may seem like the right/fair thing to do?

Please post your thoughts and comments below – and be sure to include if you are male or female, your age, and where you’re from… thanks!

Is She Cheating or About to Dump You?

By Adam Stone

People are sort of like monkeys when it comes to dating and relationships.  This sounds really offensive, I know, but hear me out.  When a monkey is in its natural habitat, traveling from tree to tree in the jungle, it won’t let go of one branch, until it has its hand firmly planted on the next branch.  A monkey needs to know where it’s going, after all.  Well, the same holds true for people and relationships.

With a lot of women, when it comes to dating, she won’t let go of one branch (you) until she has her eyes set on the next branch (the next poor shlub).  It’s a safer mode of transport, and she’ll know where she’s heading.

Fortunately, there are some tell-tell signs to help you realize you’re a useless “twig” about to be left behind for a more stable “branch” Consider this:

1. She turns the faucet off of sex

   If you’ve gone from regular and consistent sex to none at all, she may be getting it from someone else.  We’re only human, and as human animals it’s difficult to turn off and on our animalistic needs.  If she’s turned them off for you, they might be on for someone else.

2. She starts doing things without you

   If your girl stops including you in activities with her friends, she may be transitioning from a life with you to one without you.  She may have already told her friends that things are over between the two of you, and is easing in to that lifestyle on her own terms.  If your girl was really in to you, she’d want to include you with her friends.

3. She answers text/phone calls in front of you without telling you who its from.

   Not saying anything at all is easier than lying.  When given a choice to remain silent or to offer up a lie regarding who she’s communicating with – silence is always the path of least resistance.

4. She sleeps over at friend’s house (a lot)

   If your girl is past the age of slumber parties but still insists that she’s sleeping over at a friend’s house when she goes out, chances are that friend is the kind of friend that does a little more than offer all-night gossip sessions.

5. She communicates with you less

   Women love to talk, and if she’s stopped talking to you, she’s talking to someone else.

6. She comes home late smelling like a fraternity keg party

   If she’s going out without you, gets home late, and smells like a brewery, she may be drinking to lower her inhibitions to have a good time (without you).

7. She gets dolled up to go get coffee with friends

   If your girl puts way more effort than necessary when she say’s she is going to go meet up with her girlfriends for things like coffee or brunch, it’s possible that she’s getting dolled up to meet Sven, her Swedish yoga partner for more than a cafe latte.

8. She is evasive about where she was, what she was doing

   Refer back to #5, and remember, women love to talk to their men when a relationship is going well.  If she’s been out, and doesn’t volunteer to tell you all about her wonderful (or crappy) time out with her friends, and isn’t forthcoming with what she’s been doing, then she might have something to hide.

9. Your gut instincts tell you something is up

   If your gut instincts are telling you that your girl is cheating or she’s about to leave you, chances are that there are troubles in paradise.  Our minds may keep us in a state of denial, but our gut instincts are hard to ignore.  If you feel that something bad is going down, don’t ignore it.  Even if there’s nothing happening yet, these kinds of feelings are indicative that your relationship needs help or is about to tank… for whatever reason.

10. You find King Kong condoms in her purse, when your brand is Junior Pee Wee

    If this happens to you – run and never look back.

Want to get up on the saddle again?

Put yourself back on the market, and find a new lady-friend. Try these DudeRated.com-Approved websites to find your next lady:

1. Match.com 7-day Free Trial

2. Join Lavalife FREE!

Cheap Dating is the In-Thing.

The past year has been filled with disasterous news about the economy, appalling job loss figures, and a grim outlook for the future global economic condition. 

Yet despite all the doom and gloom, reports indicate that people are not dating less because of the recession. In fact, online dating websites such Match.com, are reporting tremendous growth during the hard times.  There’s nothing quite like a bleak outlook to ignite those romantic feelings, is there?

Good economy or bad, human beings will seek companionship and romance, and when times are tough, the pricey courtships have become passé.

She’s looking money but your wallet is looking empty – where do you take your lady on a low or no budget? Sometimes the best dates are the inexpensive ones…

With empty pockets and depleted bank accounts in mind, we’ve compiled a list of five (5) dirt-cheap and sometimes free dating ideas:

5. Coffee Shop

Taking a date to a coffee shop is a great way to save some bucks and get to know each other.  The coffee shop date offers an opportunity to get a sense of the chemistry between the two of you.  If there is chemistry, it’s an easy way to transition into having dinner, drinks, or some other activity.  And if there is no chemistry, it’s a convenient forum to quickly wrap things up and bounce.  Try not to choose crowded and busy coffee chains, or you’ll spend much of the time waiting in line and listening to other people yap on their cell phones.  Cozy mom & pop shops are best.

4. Art Gallery

Checking out a local art gallery is a great way to make a first impression, or even show a lady you’ve been seeing for awhile your cultured side.  You don’t have to be an expert on art to be able to comment on the various pieces of art.  Visiting a gallery is also great for making conversation if this is a first date – you’ll have things to focus on and talk about.  Use google maps (maps.google.com) to find art galleries in your area.

3. Bike Ride

Riding bicycles together is a great way to explore new areas, and combines leisurely physical activity with a chance to talk and get to know your date.  It’s free, physical, healthy and fun.  Better yet, riding a bicycle rather than driving a car helps save the environment.

2. Cheesy Movie Night

Hit the bargain bins together for discount DVDs at Walmart, Target, Blockbuster Video, etc. and you’re sure to find your next cheesefest.  Make it a game to find the silliest, lamest, cheesiest movies, for as little mula as possible.  Pop up some popcorn, dim the lights, and have a great time laughing at or along with a couple of cheesy flicks.   

1. Local Band

Depending on the size of your city, there could be a few to dozens, or even hundreds (in the case of NYC), small bars and venues hosting local band performances and open mic nights.  Often admission to these shows is free, and your only expense will be drinks if you and your date care to imbibe.  This will be a great opportunity to enjoy local talent, or if the performance is bad, to laugh it off with your date.

BONUS:

Visit your Local Brewery

With over 1700 local craft beer microbreweries in the United States alone, you’re certain to find a regional beer brewery to tour with your gal pal.  Beer tours can be educational, interesting and fun.  Best of all, many brewery tours are FREE.  Added bonues – you’ll get to sample the brewery’s sweet nectar from the heavens at the end of the tour.  Check out this site for finding a brewery in your town: Find a Brewery at BeerTown.com

 Inexpensive Dating is…

Slow Your Roll, Dude…

Written by Adam Stone

OK tiger, you scored a babe’s phone number.  Now what?! Ask any of your female pals how long you should wait before calling a woman that you’re interested in for a first date, and I guarantee that the response you get will go something like this:

"Call her the next day…"
"Don’t play games, girls hate games…"
"Just follow your heart…"

All of the responses above are absolute rubbish.  Hog wash.  Poppycock.  There is a reason we get these types of silly responses from females, and it is not because women necessarily hate games – it’s because they don’t like being on the other end of the game play.  Woman love to have the upper hand.

So, How Long Should You Wait Before Calling Her?

Let’s just cut to the chase and get to the meat of this discussion.  I’ve been around the block once or twice, and in my experience I’ve found that the real issue is not necessarily the number of days to wait before calling, but rather what it takes to not come off as too eager.  Over-eagerness is the culprit that will stop you in your tracks.

Generally speaking, however, the two-day rule is a good rule of thumb for maintaining the desired position that you don’t wreak of desperation.  (Even though you and I both know you stink of it – I can smell you from here!) The two day rule is ONLY a General Rule of Thumb, because quite frankly, the time that you wait before calling a woman for a first rendezvous depends on the circumstances.  Let’s break this down in to some hypothetical situations:

1. If you’re out drinking and having a good time with the boys, and an attractive babe slips you her number with a note that reads, "I want to tie you up and do naughty things to you – tonight, call me" – you do NOT have to wait two days before calling.  In fact, in this situation, I would recommend calling her right away.
    
2. If you’ve just met a gal and exchanged numbers, and she sends you a text message that night asking you what you are up – you do NOT have to wait two days before calling.  Again, in this situation, I would recommend calling her right away, while her interest is still piqued.
    
3. If you’ve connected with a woman on a dating website, such as Match.com, and you’ve already been communicating through email or IM, then the Two-Day Rule is not relevant.  Go ahead and call her to set up a date.
    
4. If you’ve met the woman of your dreams, it’s a Thursday night, and you’ve agreed that you’ll call her sometime to hang out – do NOT call her in two days to ask for a date.  What!? Why the hell not?!  Well, because in this particular situation, waiting two days would place your call to her on a Saturday.  Calling a girl you’ve just met on a Saturday isn’t the best idea for two reasons: (a) it shows lack of consideration on your part that she may already have plans for the weekend, and (b) it illustrates to her that you DON’T have plans.  A woman will find you more attractive if she assumes you’ve got something better to do than hound her for a date.  Since weekends are off limits for a call in this situation, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday don’t count toward the "two-day rule," and you’re best off if you call her on Tuesday.
    

Whew, pretty complicated, huh?  Not so much.  The key takeaway from this stuff is that you cannot come off as too eager, or you risk losing any chance you’ve got with the girl.  Women like to be pursued, but they’re much more receptive when you’re calm, cool, and confident about it.  Generally speaking, if you wait a couple of days you’ll have nothing to worry about.  And granted, if you call too soon, you may not jeopardize your chances with a particular woman, but why risk it?  It’s just not worth it.  The Two-Day Rule exists for a reason… it’s a solid rule of thumb.

Plentyoffish.com is perhaps the largest and most well-known of all the FREE online dating websites. Plenty of Fish has purportedly stolen a tiny bit of market share from the formidable giant, Match.com - (Is it worth your time?).

PlentyofFish.com claims that their matching algorithms and technology is unmatched, and that they are the only dating site capable of generating matches in real time.

PlentyofFish.com also claims that they are about 5 times larger than any paid site.

I wanted to like PlenyofFish.com.  I really did…

A free dating site with purportedly millions of users… what’s not to like?!  Well, 2 months after creating my profile, and ZERO dates later, I’ve decided to quit the site, and write this review. In short, PlentyofFish.com sucks.  I’m not really going to go into a lot of detail with this review, because quite frankly, this dating site is really not worth taking the effort of a full write-up. If you are dying to know why it sucks, however, please continue reading.

The biggest thing that PlentyofFish.com has going for it is that it is free.  Other than that, it pretty much sucks in every category. 

Here’s a brief list of reasons why it sucks so bad:

Navigation

The site is AWFUL to navigate.  Banner ads and contextual link advertisements are so ingrained in this site, that it is inevitable you’ll click on an advertisement mistakenly and be directed away from the website.  Furthermore, the legitimate site links make no sense, and feel like they were an afterthought rather than a carefully planned and properly executed site design.

SPAM

My user profile inbox was inundated with SPAM from the first day.  If you decide to sign up for this shit show, be prepared to sift through enormous amounts of SPAM before ever reading a legit email.

Female Selection

Whoa boy.  The female selection is a disaster in New York City.  I’m willing to wager that 99% of the attractive profiles on the site are fake – either "bait" profiles to attract new fish to the site, or scam accounts.  As for the legit profiles – let’s just say you’ll be better off scraping the barnacles off the bottom of the barrel at closing time in your local dive bar.  Truly, the selection (In New York City, at least) is worthless.

Dating Experience

I sent nearly 100 emails during the course of my testing with Plenty of Fish, and I netted zero (O) dates.  My theory is that perhaps because the site is free, the majority of the users are not really that serious about actually going on dates.

Does this site even deserve a Rating?  Eh, the fact that it’s free earns it a 1 out of 5 rating:

*~~~~ (1/5)

Bottom Line…

Recommendation:  For a Site Worth Your Consideration, Check out Match.com

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past decade, you’ve undoubtedly heard of Match.com.

Match.com was one of the first, and is probably the best known of the online dating websites.  Match.com reportedly has more than 15 million members and Web sites serving 37 countries in more than 12 different languages…

We Reviewed Match.com and Answer the Question, "Is Match.com Worth It?"

The short answer to the question, "Is Match.com worth it?" is quite simply, "It really depends on what you’re looking for, dude." An even shorter answer is: You can find out for yourself if it’s worth it with 7-day free trial.

Match.com is a premium dating site, and a monthly subscription is required to gain access to the site.  I plunked down $30ish dollars (of DudeRated.com’s mula) per month for the privilege of Match.com membership, and I had a good time on the site, but it took some work getting there.  Here’s my take on the sitch:    

Features

Match has been around for awhile, so it was no surprise that it was chock-full of goodies.  There are tons of bells and whistles that are supposed to help members find a suitable mate.  A couple features that I found to be pretty dope, include:

MatchWords:

This is similar to the keywords used on search engines like Google, Yahoo, etc.  Users can pre-define a list of keywords in their profile that other users can use to search them out. (Of course, my keyword of choice is "Sex Demon.")

Match.com Platinum:

I didn’t actually register for this, but from the description, the Platinum membership provides the user with a personalized, professional matchmaker.  This real, live person is available for users who don’t have the time to weed through the portraits on Match.com (Think hot-shot executive types).

MindFindBind With Dr. Phil:

Again, this is another feature that I am not personally familiar with, but might be usueful for dudes who come equipped with no natural dating skills or ability to attract a mate.  For those in need of assistance getting started with online dating, Dr. Phil’s Match.com exclusive monthly program will walk you through how to get your mind ready to date, how to find someone perfect, and then how to bond/bind with them over time.

Babe Selection

Match.com has been around for awhile, so it was no surprise that it was chock-full of ladies.  This is especially true for major metropolitan areas.  I am writing this review from New York City, so it’s no big surprise that there were babes-a-plenty. 

Variety of Women:

Your mileage may vary, but performing quick searches of different cities reveals a definite hot-babe to population ratio.  However, there is something that I quickly discovered, and if you sign-up for Match.com, you should also be mindful of… There are shills, bogus accounts, and scams.  Although there is a wide range of women, and someone for every preference, you need to be aware that some of the accounts are fake.

Match.com Shills:

The fakies are pretty easy to spot.  Anytime you see a knock-out, drop-dead gorgeous model who’s preference in men is "Any" in all categories, you can pretty much bank on "her"  actually being some "he," probably sitting at an internet cafe in eastern-europe, working all day scamming lonely shlubs out of a few bucks.  Move along, nothing to be gained here

Overall Selection:

Overall, the babe selection is pretty good.  And in bigger cities it’s easy to say that there is definitely something for everybody.  Like chubbie girls?  No problem.  Prefer asians with long legs and ample bosoms?  They’ve got some of them, too!   Yes, Match.com provides a veritable smorgasbord for the everyman.  Dig in, and enjoy (but beware of the fakies).

> Get a 7-Day FREE Trial to Find Out for Yourself if Match.com is Worth It.

Dating Experiences

Crap shoot.  It’s hit or miss with this one, fellas.  I am really surprised with how much work it actually took to line up confirmed, actual bona-fide dates.  I’m not exactly a Don Juan, but I’m not Don Knotts either, know what I mean? 

Background Info:

Here’s the deal:  I average about 4 dates per month (one new girl a week), without the assistance of online dating tools.  This is just from being out in circulation, meeting new babes out in their natural habitat.  Again, your mileage may vary, but with the time it took to set up my profile, sort through the datable females, respond to the seemingly endless chatter in e-mails, and convince the hotties to choose me over the 100,000 other dudes vying for their attention, I managed to nail down 4 dates within the same one-month time frame.  Not bad, but about the same as I do when I roll up to the bar with my boys.

The dates were all over the board.  For this evaluation, I chose the same day of the week, time, and venue.  I met each date in the Union Square area (Manhattan) for a Happy-Hour drink, after work on Fridays.  Here’s a quick breakdown of each date:

Date #1: 

FAILURE.  "Susan" is what I would call a classic Misrepresenter.  Her profile picture was blatantly not her, but rather a 40 lb. lighter, 10 year younger version of what she might have been, if she was, uh, somebody else.  This date lasted about 20 minutes.  She seemed embarrassed to be there, and uncomfortable in her own skin.  I was cordial and diplomatic when I offered to split the tab, and scram.

Date #2: 

BODERLINE.  "Barbara" was actually pretty HOT, but was completely self-absorbed and booooring.  I listened to her talk non-stop about 1) herself, 2) her maltese dog, 3) herself, 4) her ex-boyfriend, and 5) herself for at least 30 minutes.  I got the impression that Barbara was more in to getting free drinks and dinner from dating than actually meeting a cool dude.  It was pleasant being out, and seen with this beauty, but barely worth listening to her drone on about the aforementioned topics.  When the check came, I handed it to Barbara.  Her look was priceless.  I’ve not heard from Barb since.

Date #3: 

EPIC FAILURE.  "Wendy" skipped her meds that day. 

Date #4: 

SUCCESS.  "Aniela" was really quite an extraordinary woman, and I am still psyched about how well this date went.  Aniela moved to New York from Slovakia a few months ago, and joined Match.com to help her meet new people.  The conversation flowed well, the body language was suggestive of definite interest, and her feminine old-world charm turned me to putty in her hands.  Aniela is an absolutely stunning example of female beauty, and being in her presense was intoxicating.  If not for this date, my rating for this category would be a 2.  By the way, as of the writing of this article, I am preparing for a 2nd date…

Match.com’s Value

Match.com offers a number of payment options, and subscription models, all of which are remarkably affordable.  For the cost of a few beers at the bar (and striking out like you always do, sucker!) you can line up dates with some good looking babes from the comfort of your lay-z-boy.  It’s a no-brainer.  Pull out the plastic, and give it a shot.  And remember, if you score, you owe me a beer.

Overall

So, is Match.com worth it?  If you’re willing to invest the time and can tolerate some email correspondence before setting up a date with a woman, then yes, it is probably worth it.  If you’re looking for an instant hookup, this is probably not the site for you (But read more of our dating reviews to find that site!)  Match.com is a safe bet and a pretty good time.  Overall, it’s a 4 out of 5.

Sign Up for Match.com Totally Risk-Free.