Whether you’re joining friends at the neighborhood pub or traveling to a holiday dinner, one can be guaranteed that drinks will be there to thoroughly lubricate the evening (sorry, couldn’t think of a better word).

If you've been to this site more than once, you've probably figured out that the DudeRated.com crew spends a lot of time hanging out, and throwing back pints together…

And after a serious debate of social profiling based on drink in hand, and hours of imitating what a marinated Jeremy Piven might be like at a holiday party, this is where the DudeRated.com writers found ourselves:

Holiday Season Drink'in

1.  Eggnog

Tradition is tradition and nothing is as traditional as the serving of  fat-laden creamy calories and whiskey to begin the evening with family and friends. The guest holding this is mentally yelling, “I just showed up at this party offering a fine bottle of wine and this is what I get in return???”

Best Served To?  Grandma.

2.  The Pinot Grigio (the white): 

She’s wearing a skinny red dress. She’s not married. And she didn’t bring a date. The writing on the wall couldn’t be bigger.

Best Served To?  That lonely vixen looking for some holiday cheer.

3.  The Pinot Noir (the Red):

The festive holidays have a poster child for the go-to wine, and this can pretty much be it. It’s the safe bet for any guest, projecting to everyone in their surroundings that they're getting a conservative start to the evening. It’s also a pretty good assumption that this person is wearing some sort of clothing with reindeer, Santa Claus, or snow flakes knitted in. We’ve all been there.

Best Served To?  Mom, Aunt Lucy, Uncle Bruce, and the ladies from the Republicans for Peace club.

3.  Light Beer (Bud, Coors, Etc.):

Being a gender neutral (neutered) society now, we shouldn’t polarize anyone holding a beer. But this is “mostly” grasped by men. And usually because the evening will call for some sort of anesthesia against the onslaught of in-laws, relatives, and having to wear that knitted sweater with snowflakes. Hence the word “grasp”. Drink on my friend then proceed to The Jack and Coke.

Best Served To?  Just about anyone, provided they can hold the bottle.  This is the drink of the masses.

4.  Dark Beer (Guiness):

Aye, now this guy is ready to settle in for the long haul. An experienced holiday veteran, he’s seen all the ups and downs this kind of party brings. Possibly a grizzly fellow, he tells stories repeated every year word for word, you could almost lip-sync it better than Brittany (Pre-Fedderline).

Best Served To?  Grizzly fellas, lumberjacks, and the Irish.

5.  The Jack and Coke:

Like an olympic athlete looking for that next gear of endurance, a guest may reach for this. It says to all, “I was here for the food, now, I’m here for you!”. Yes this person is ready to bring the holiday party to the next level. Beware though, poor decisions are just over the horizon. Better bring out the camera and be ready!

Best Served To?  Guys who graduated from college 5-10+ years ago, and want to re-live their glory days.

6.  Jack minus the Coke:

You know that figurative socially acceptable line, the one where on this side all things said and done are without judgment to character and, on the other, all actions are followed by the damaging silence of public disbelief as you collide head-on, into the wall of humiliation? This person is on the non-stop holiday express without a helmet. 

Best Served To?  This chap.

7.  Jose Cuervo:

Jose is a corruptor. Jose comes out on personal celebrations or losses. Jose was never meant for the holidays. Jose is just plain bad. Expect holiday ornaments to be molested and a need to articulate bodily urges more frequently.

Best Served To?  Fraternity guys, home for Christmas break.

8.  Grain Alcohol:

Grain Alcohol (everclear): This one came out of left field in our conversations. One contributor had a story involving a neighbors plastic santa w/ reindeer lawn ornaments, fireworks, and the local fire department. The empty bottle of Everclear was discreetly hidden in the nearby bushes. If you have any good stories about this one; write back! We’d love to post ‘em.

Best Served To?  Grandpa.

It’s been the longest short week that we’ve all had to deal with. (If you’re in the camp of the unemployed or academia – cheers! I’m sure you’re already enjoying a variety of inebriating beverages)

For me personally, there wasn’t any real reason to come into the office with people already on vacation, taking long lunches or catching up on Family Guy youtube clips.

My personal favorite for its sick, slow humor (Watch this YouTube Video) In sum, nothing got done and we got paid for it – if you’re one of my clients, my email is broken and my voicemail doesn’t work, sorry.

Through the cubical walls of this advertising agency, I’ve accidentally eves dropped on several conversations about what people are thankful for . . . “early office closing”, “long weekend”, “ I’m not cooking this time” and the one that sticks out the most “going to see Twilight for the 4^th time”. Riiight.

Well, after listening to this office banter, I’ve done a list of our own thankfulness with a slight angle towards the small things in life:

• The Eclipse Spearmint Gum BigEPak (60 pieces) – Because as Americans, we trophy the oversized. And this stands in proud effigy toward our western philosophy. Why create a 10 piece pack when we can sextuple the size? Yes, because you never know when you’ll need to plug a leak the size of a bowling ball and all you have is gum. In all seriousness though, I did purchase this at my local 7-11 and it’s been in my car . . . since July. 

  

• Budweiser 30 pack – Granted I rarely comment negatively about all that is holy and brewed, but this . . . this has only one purpose. Self-induced tomfoolery. (all those college and post-college gents, this ones for you) In the arms race of the big brewing company’s, Budweiser has shown it has the biggest (appendage). Though I am no fan of this beer, my beer-snootiness does have one weakness and that is Beer Pong. It’s the perfect gift to bring to a tourney, that and a few distractingly beautiful looking ladies.

  

   

• Ipod Apps – I fully admit I jumped onto the Apple bandwagon and fell right in the AT&T pile of shit. But aside from the many dropped calls and not getting all the text messages that I should, the apps make up for it. Playing TM Zero or Stickwars to a playlist of Young, Counting Crows, Sound Garden and Kings of Leon more than make up for not getting my visual voicemail for over an hour. No message, no worries. Even if it is a client of mine. (add that to another reason why nothing is getting done today).

  
   

• Tryptophan -  You know what that is… it's the enzyme in Turkey that is responsible for catapulting you into a sudden, instant hibernation.  There's nothing more satisfying than the warm embrace a coma, following the inhalation of  turkey gravy over mashed potatoes, topped with sweet corn nibblets.  Eat up, it's going to be a long winter!

  

We can go on. But there’s turkey to eat, football to watch, and apps to be played.

Happy Thanksgiving to all you DR readers!

Winter Beer Selection:

Winter is creeping in for us Northeastern and Northwestern folk. That colder air means its time to pack away those sandals and shorts, break out the thick sweaters and settle in for shorter days.

So what’s better to take on those long nights but a few pints of lagers, stouts and for you goofy tongued folk, lambics. Here, again are some of my select beer choices to self medicate for a long cold winter.

Brace Yourself for Chang's Top 3…

1.  Guinness (stout): Undoubtedly, I was born Irish. But I look Asian . . . go figure. My first instinct when there’s cold in the air, with a hint of a lively fireplace, is to order a pint of the dark stuff. Because of its infamy, I need not delve into its origins or history. But I will make one acute observation; Peoples love or distaste of this stout is as distinct as its black and white color. You either can enjoy it, or would move to something else . . . like a wine cooler.

2. Brooklyn’s Intensified Coffee Stout: You want to graduate and really be a stout drinker? Here’s an Imperial Stout that will cause you to a) be very happy b) get very marinated c) not remember much more of A or B the next morning. Imperials are the upper echelon of brewed stouts with high ALC. They’re usually poured in snifter-like glasses as a tribute to their whisky barreled aging process. NOTE: these aren’t normally poured in the same volume of all the other beers. If you get a pint glass full . . . hang on to your trowsers and make sure someone has a camera.

3. Blue Point Toasted Lager: If you look beyond the I-talians, fair-weather Hamptonites, and the Islanders, Long Island has a lot of cultural jewels. Especially in the wine and beer industries. Blue Point Brewery is one of those gems’s that has shined in the past decade. A microbrewery that is gaining popularity, it comes out with staples such as the Pale Ale, Hoptical and a bar favorite of mine, the Toasted Lager. Give it try next time you’re in NYC or gotten lost and find yourself roaming around Suffolk County.

Music sets the mood, and putting together the perfect playlist is essential for any party.  Seasonal parties, particularly Halloween parties, are the most deserving of a well thought out music selection.  You will need the right music to set the mood. 

We've put together a list of 10 Essential tunes to get your Halloween party jumping. 

10.  The Monster Mash

The Monster Mash is an obligatory tune.  The original  Bobby "Boris" Picket  from 1962 is a classic, but let's face it – it's a little old and dated.  Grandpa and Grandma may still love rocking out to it, but for a more contemporary version, check out The Misfit's remix.  Same great cornball lyrics, but with an updated sound.

9.  The Cure – "Lullaby" (Mixed Up Version)

Not every song by The Cure is depressing.  In fact, "Lullaby's" lyrics are down right scary! 

8.   Pretty much anything by Rob Zombie

Rob Zombie's music is perfectly suited for Halloween.  Consider tracks such as: More Human than Human, I'm Your Boogieman, Thunderkiss '65,  and Dragula.

7.   Blue Oyster Cult: "Don't Fear the Reaper"

Blue Oyster Cult has achieved cult-like status.  Unlike the musicians themselves, their classic "Don't Fear the Reaper" never get's old.

6.  Charlie Daniels Band:  "Devil Went Down to Georgia"

Perhaps the best fiddle solo.  Ever.

5.   Ray Parket Jr.: "Ghostbusters"

Admittedly, this track is a bit corny, but it earns extra points for nostalgic value.

4.   DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince – "Nightmare on my Street"

Fresh Prince raps about being visited by Freddy Kruger.  Ahh, the 80's.  This song sent shivers up my spine when I was a kid.

3.  Talking Heads:  "Psycho Killer"

There have been many remakes of this popular song, but the original can't be beat.

2.  Warren Zevon: "Werewolves in London"

Warren Zevon was an eccentric rock musician, who many believed to be a musical genius.  He passed away a few years ago, but his music lives on with a cult following.  Werewolves of London was the only solo success by Warren Zevon that made the American Top 40 charts,

1.  Oingo Boingo: "Dead Man's Party"

Rodney Dangerfield's character in the movie, "Back to School," Thornton Melon, helped popularize this song when he had Oingo Boingo play live at his epic house party.  Since then, this catchy tune is associated with good time awesomeness.  Bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out.  And then bring one every ten minutes.

BONUS -  Michael Jackson: Thriller

You didn't expect to see a Top-10 Halloween music list without Thriller, did you?    This mega classic is the embodiment of ghoulish horror, and an obvious choice for any Halloween playlist.

View Full Thriller Video

Happy Halloween!